Field of Laughter

These four of mine, they trudge out to the middle of that hay field to satisfy a mother’s need for remembering moments. My sister looking through the viewfinder seeing us all laugh at posing just so, and smiling on cue.

She is Kaptured by Kelly and capture she does. Capturing moments this mother’s heart needs. Not just for the picture to be framed, but for the laughter of the day to sink deep into my soul, so that on days we are apart I can remember those special smiles we had out there in that field.

Small moments made big in my search for simple joy. Simple pure joy that fills a heart that overflows love. A kind of love that spills out when there are tough days. On days that we are separated by space or days when there is an empty house quiet and still.

On those days I will remember laughter in the field and remember God.

How much He has blessed our lives with these four. He placed them together in this world for a reason. He knows their hearts and knew they were a perfect fit to be siblings. I knew this long ago. Only did not realize how much they would rise to the occasion of being special.

On that day the youngest quit breathing they were there. There to see her lying on the ground with life fading. They were there to wait at the end of the lane to show the ambulance the way back to her. And they knew how much I needed them to be strongly calm, so that when I flew in the helicopter with her I knew they would be ok.

Hard days like that help us grow even more into the family God wants us to be. He carefully chose each of us to be together through hard, sad, happy, laughing days.

So, when the girls jumped onto the brother’s back, I smiled knowing that is exactly how God would have it. Siblings sharing the load of a world together with love, with God…four siblings growing in a field of laughter.

 

Copyright © 2011-2013 Hello Butter images & content

 

Advertisement

Like It’s Last

“Play each game like it’s your last, and don’t forget to pray” I hollered to him as he was leaving for the Friday night lights. He just smiled at me big with an agreeing yes and hopped in the truck to go live life full as a young life should.

For five years we have been living this new motto of living each moment to the fullest. Last night was just another reminder of why.

Claire had a seizure while watching her big brother run fast and play hard. Life is like that. Hard times come from no where. Hard times can hit you at any time, any place and almost always when you least expect, even on the sidelines of a football game.

I hate these seizures! They can have a tendency to make me want to seize up in life. When Claire suffers through one, I suffer along with her. Any one who is witness to these horrific episodes also suffer with her. But then, there is Grace! I can only stay calm when I am breathing His Grace.

“And don’t forget to pray!”

Knowing the only way to live each moment full is by breathing Grace and praying for the peace that can only come when living full in God. Which means living full in the knowing that He is in control of this breathing life.

We are reminded life is fragile and passes so quickly. We have to play each game like it’s the last and yes it can be very hard, but the reward is God’s peace, joy and a heart full of love.

We breathe Grace, live love and just keep on playing and praying.

He holds our lives in his ever capable hands, even when I am holding her while we wait for her to wake up to shine that smile so bright. And wake up she did, all smiles, all better, all happy and all ready to say hello life with her reassuring thumbs up smile this morning I can say… Hello God in each play of this game…Hello Butter

epilepsy is an enemy

Epilepsy has no cure.

A heart crushing reminder as I helplessly watched Claire suffer another seizure last night. While I do all I can do to aid her during these cruel attacks, I still feel helpless. I gave her the emergency med under her tongue, I made sure her airway stayed clear, I monitored heart rate and breathing…all I can do, all while I prayed.  An hour and a half later she was her smiling self again, but my ache for her to be cured was tangible.
Normal days of happy come to a screeching halt because of this disease.Every fairy tale has an enemy. Seizures are Claire’s ugly monster she will battle her whole life. Our Rainbow Princess is courageous and strong enough to fight this battle. Along with being surrounded by love, faith and soldiers of God. We will be her aid, as God can work through us. He has a plan for her life. However, it is not to be free from seizures. So we will battle on, living with so much joy and love in hearts that there will be no room for an enemy. And though it seems my heart is heavy today, I am really standing strong against an enemy that I refuse to let rob us of our happy ending.In our Kingdom a rainbow follows every drop of rain,no matter the size of the storm we see His light shine through her life.

“I will fear no evil, for my God is with me and if my God is with me whom shall I fear?”  (Matt Redman~You Never Let Go)

 I would have loved for the plan to have been to say good-bye forever to seizures, instead we will say hello to strength, faith, courage, love…most of all

Hello God…

 

 

God,Butter & the Moon

Adding my story to the Ann Voskamp series~The Practice of New Habits

I have always been an admirer of the night sky. I think it goes along with the dreamer in me. Last night as I wondered at the majestic beauty of the full moon, I was reminded of how just a short time ago, I feared that same moon.

It’s a fact (in my head) of the disturbances a lunar glow can bring to life. Every time there was a busy night in the nursery, I blamed the moon. Every time there was a crazy night full of weird happenings during a nightshift at the hospital, I would blame the moon. Even when my children start to have an abundance of suspicious energy, I find myself saying “is there a full moon?”

As much as I enjoy the night sky, there became a growing dread each month as the full moon approached. The reason for this dread was due to the fact that Claire’s worst seizures happened during the brightest lunar phase. More proof the diet is helping Claire to stay seizure free is my viewing the biggest brightest moon last night and rocking my girl to sleep in the comforts of our living room, far from the emergencies Claire’s seizures would bring.

It was during a full moon the last time I was strapped into a helicopter seat. Claire was fighting for her life behind me and fear was seeping into my entire being. As this fear rose, so did the helicopter. Rising into the icy cold winter night I felt a chill like no other. I thought this flying trip to another children’s hospital combined with the eerie cold dark, could not be a good sign.

My usual optimistic self was battling the dark in those few minutes of departing from the helicopter landing pad. That same landing pad painted with a giant white cross had brought comfort in the past. Seeing that cross knowing it was a landing zone to safety, to people who could save Claire from the life stealing seizure she had just suffered. But on that night, we were leaving that cross and my fears were mounting.

Our past emergency flights had been in the bright of day. This was the first time I experienced lifting off under the cover of darkness. The dark seemed to be taking over, until I cried the most comforting prayer I know. I closed my eyes with the uttering of this one name: Jesus. I felt the lurch of the aircraft in my stomach as we jolted up into the dark. Tears started to fall down my cheek and my heart pounded into a fearful fit.

The previous trips had ended with me seeing that cross on the landing pad as a sign from God. However, in the darkness of this night, He felt so far away. I thought, “Dear God, where are you in all this darkness?” Just when I thought where in the world could I find light in this moment, I opened my eyes to the night sky we were ascending into…and there was the fullest of full, lighting the darkest of night.

 The lurch in my stomach from take off was nothing compared to the leap my heart experienced when I saw that beautiful moon. Knowing God created that beauty in the night, lighting my life in those fearful moments, was my sign. God was there, He is always there. Even on a cold dark December night. I only needed to look up.

I usually end my post with saying goodbye to something. Today, I don’t want to say goodbye, only Hello. Hello to God today and everyday. Hello to all the riches only He can give. Riches of a life blessed by saying Hello God and finding Him in the light of the moon on one scary night.

 A diet full of butter is thought to be of rich flavor , but a diet of saying Hello to God will provide more riches than one can imagine.

So, in every moment of life I choose to practice a new habit and say:

Hello God…Hello Butter

Falling for fall

Fall love

Thank God for fall! Each year I fall deeper in love with this season. It’s our favorite time of year &
We’ve been pretty busy saying a lot of hello to not only butter but also pecans, cheese, physical therapy, home school & football games. Claire has been doing so well that we have a busy life back.
She’s been able to go back to physical therapy once a week and she is getting stronger & stronger at standing. And while she is doing so well I still don’t feel she can handle preschool at this time. Instead, we have a teacher come to the house once a week. Plus, she has been enjoying watching her big brother play under the Friday night lights so I feel this satisfies her social life. And I do mean social. This is one area of her life that I have no worries. She loves to see everyone at the football games and works the crowd like no other four year old I’ve seen. She is full of smiles and personality and is the best cheerleader for her Michael. Go Michael Go! We are even able to pack her pecans, cheese and butter to go for the football game. Not your typical tailgate food, but she loves it!
Now since summer has ended I feel it is safe to announce the official news that the summer of 2011 has seizure free! This is the first summer since 2008 that Claire has not required to be life flighted. With all my heart I praise God for the miracles on our life!
So, although I am a few weeks late in saying this…goodbye Summer…hellobutter!

Butter Birthday Bliss

Our first birthday party on the ketogenic diet was a success. I think it was even better than previous parties because I was not focused on food preparation. Instead, we had a tea party for Claire. It was perfect since the food consisted of mini versions of quiche, cheesecake,  & eclairs all from the GFS store. Easy, take out of the box & make pretty on a plate.

 
Claire was happy with her chocolate cupcake made from a recipe on the myketocal website and figured portions on the ketocalculator. I don’t think it was the best cake she has ever had, but I think for my first try it wasn’t too bad. I used finely shredded coconut instead if coconut flour, I think it was a little too  gritty.

Birthday cake on the ketogenic diet

She is allowed herbal tea, but we haven’t found a flavor she likes. I’ve even tried apple tea to replace the apple juice she loved so much. She has been happy with drinking water and just one diet caffeine free pop a day.

We are still missing ice cream and she does not like the frozen cream with fruit that she is allowed. So we have replaced ice cream with plain shaved ice. I do use sugar-free syrup occasionally to make it more of a flavored treat. But we try to limit artificial sweeteners, especially if she has had her diet pop.

Our family loves a good spread at a good party, but we really didn’t miss the food. We just enjoyed the being together to celebrate another year of God’s blessings in the life of our amazing miracle girl.

 
We keep asking Claire ” how old are you” and she grins her big sparkling smile and says “I’m four…where did three and a half go?”  so today we say…

 
Goodbye three and a half…Hello Butter

Sugar- Free Summer

Another school year has flown by and here comes summer!

It will be an interesting sugar-free summer. I know this because I am really missing ice cream. I have not perfected the home-made ice cream that Claire can have,but will have to soon. Ice cream is one tradition we can not do without!

The day before her diet,one last real treat!

A smile to melt my heart!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So the kids have completed another year of learning and so have I…

 

What I’ve learned so far about the ketogenic diet:

 
1. The astounding ability that children have to adapt to any situation. Claire can be happy no matter what life throws her.

2. Routine is better than chaos. The diet is most effective when maintained as a daily routine. The kitchen now has open & closed hours.

 
3. The ketogenic diet changes how one thinks of food. I am amazed that such small portions of food are enough to fuel the body.

 
4. Faith and butter are key to balanced living onsuch a strict diet therapy.

5.Positive attitude is everything. It’s hard to be sad when you are happy!

6. Giving up sweet sugar treats is hard. But the reward is living a richer life. We enjoy simple sugar-free pleasures. A strawberry tastes so much sweeter when your taste buds have forgotten what sugar is.

 
7. Butter days can be better days. Meaning,make the most of what you’ve been given.

 
8. And last but not least, God’s plan is the best plan. Trust Him and your life will be butter…oh I mean better!

Goodbye school days & ice cream…Hello Butter!

Stay the Course

Stay the Course,God has You

I want to take a moment to praise God today for His faithfulness.

This diet is not only for Claire to have a better seizure free
life, but for our whole family to remember to focus on the important things in life.(by the way, it’s not food)

I can slowly spin out of balance, just like an overloaded washing machine. I talk a lot to God, so I know the familiar unbalanced sway and can correct it before completely spinning out of control. He has a gentle whisper that calms my heart. With out my daily quiet time with my Jesus, I can easily cave to the overloaded “washer” spin out of balance life.

So with all that being said, I am listening to the whispers. I can do this because God has this.
We can take this change and better our lives mostly because we are even more dependent on God to get us through all the highs and lows that a dieting  family has to go through.

Is anyone else too overloaded? Is your spin cycle about to become unbalanced? Take a breath, stay the course, God has you.
 

Goodbye unbalanced…Hello Butter!