Hello Butter Proud

March 30, 2012

I can hardly breathe through the proud of this moment…

There are a lot of moments through out life  that are hard on a mother’s heart. Sending a son off to boot camp ranks high on that list.
Such a flood of emotions swirled  around this day. I am so proud of the young man that stood shoulders back and right hand raised to swear an oath to his country.

Letting go has been easier to write than live. Since this post: https://hellobutter.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/letting-goletting-god/ I have been riding the waves of emotion. I am excited for my oldest to be embarking on a new adventure but, sorry that another season of life has quickly passed.


A bittersweet time for a mothers heart as we say goodbye to boys in search of manhood. I look at the beauty of seasons past  trying  to imagine the next moments of motherhood, finding new ways to be joyful in all things.

Wrapping my arms around him knowing when I see him again, all boy will have slipped away. Tears were proud, joyful and a tiny bit sad. Sad only because I love being a mom to babies and now my baby is all grown.

We have to say good bye to days of past and to boys of young so that we may live in the fullness of life that God has planned. See gifts of beauty in the eyes of a son no matter how grown,no matter the season.

Semper Paratus~Always ready. Always ready to see God, always ready to live full.

Hello God in all the seasons…Hello Butter

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Almost Amish Life for Me

March 17, 2012

We love Amish country. Love the food, the scenic country side, the simplicity of life. After every visit we come home refreshed with a renewed passion for living simple.
As technology grows, I am getting spoiled by the convenience of all it offers. Too spoiled! So, I’ve decided we are going to attempt a tech free life for a few weeks.
My kids need to join our family a little more and walk away from phones, ipads, ps3 and all the likes of. However, I have to practice what I preach. I will shut down all things involving the net. I will only check emails & such once a day in the evening. I will also be writing about it in that hour, but that is all. No surfing, no searching, no chatting, facebooking, twittering, or pinning!

I am choosing to focus these last few days as a family of six under one roof, on exactly that…Family!  I am hoping to become almost Amish for  just a little while. I’ll come back to the internet after I’ve been refreshed and renewed by the simplicity. 

 This is also part of letting go and letting God.~Always Ready to see Him in all things.  I know He will be present in all the fullness living simple has to offer.

So, today I am saying goodbye technology,

Hello God & Family Time… Hello Butter

 

 

Images Courtesy of Kaptured by Kelly

© 2012 hellobutter

Letting Go~Letting God

March 15, 2012

I remember a tiny hand so chubby with dimples where knuckles should be. How I loved rubbing my hand over those dimples, holding so softly, fingers laced gentle into mine. Holding onto memories of chubby, days of baby and mothering love abound. Traveling toward a new adventure of letting go.

 A firstborn child is a mother’s first love. Like the rising of a beautiful sun in the early morning hours, touching all the dark places of night. Filling the world full of brightness in places that have been asleep. A mother’s love is touched by the first born light. A love that awakened so many sleeping places of my young heart. And now that baby, child, man is leaving for his own adventure. He will touch new places of the world, leaving his light where it may have once been dark. And as much as I want to be selfish and grab hold tight of that once chubby dimple hand, I have to let go and let God.

He will be called a Guardian. The Guardian Ethos reads with words of protect, defend, save and shield. Semper Paratus~Always Ready.

 I can only let this child’s fingers slip from mine, if I know God is, was and always will be steadfast in the holding, embracing of his once chubby, dimple filled hand. The tears will well and the heart will sting, but I will let go and let God. Let go and let God guide Him in the adventure of life in the Coast Guard. How he has been made ready for this. My oldest has always been a big brother, full of protecting and responsibility. God has made him for this guardian life.

I will soon say the hardest goodbye a mother’s heart will bear. Goodbye to dimpled hands and shining firstborn light. My heart aching but steadfast with faith.  I may not say good bye, my heart can’t take it. Instead I will say…Hello God~always ready Guardian of our lives, embrace his dimpled hand along with my heart. Help me be always ready to let go and let God.

Always Ready saying Hello God…Hello Butter

 

 

SUPERGIRL~CLAIRE

January 29, 2012

Miracles happen! Short but sweet video of our amazing supergirl!

 

 

“Unspeakable,unending,thanks be to God…”

God,Butter & the Moon

January 11, 2012

Adding my story to the Ann Voskamp series~The Practice of New Habits

I have always been an admirer of the night sky. I think it goes along with the dreamer in me. Last night as I wondered at the majestic beauty of the full moon, I was reminded of how just a short time ago, I feared that same moon.

It’s a fact (in my head) of the disturbances a lunar glow can bring to life. Every time there was a busy night in the nursery, I blamed the moon. Every time there was a crazy night full of weird happenings during a nightshift at the hospital, I would blame the moon. Even when my children start to have an abundance of suspicious energy, I find myself saying “is there a full moon?”

As much as I enjoy the night sky, there became a growing dread each month as the full moon approached. The reason for this dread was due to the fact that Claire’s worst seizures happened during the brightest lunar phase. More proof the diet is helping Claire to stay seizure free is my viewing the biggest brightest moon last night and rocking my girl to sleep in the comforts of our living room, far from the emergencies Claire’s seizures would bring.

It was during a full moon the last time I was strapped into a helicopter seat. Claire was fighting for her life behind me and fear was seeping into my entire being. As this fear rose, so did the helicopter. Rising into the icy cold winter night I felt a chill like no other. I thought this flying trip to another children’s hospital combined with the eerie cold dark, could not be a good sign.

My usual optimistic self was battling the dark in those few minutes of departing from the helicopter landing pad. That same landing pad painted with a giant white cross had brought comfort in the past. Seeing that cross knowing it was a landing zone to safety, to people who could save Claire from the life stealing seizure she had just suffered. But on that night, we were leaving that cross and my fears were mounting.

Our past emergency flights had been in the bright of day. This was the first time I experienced lifting off under the cover of darkness. The dark seemed to be taking over, until I cried the most comforting prayer I know. I closed my eyes with the uttering of this one name: Jesus. I felt the lurch of the aircraft in my stomach as we jolted up into the dark. Tears started to fall down my cheek and my heart pounded into a fearful fit.

The previous trips had ended with me seeing that cross on the landing pad as a sign from God. However, in the darkness of this night, He felt so far away. I thought, “Dear God, where are you in all this darkness?” Just when I thought where in the world could I find light in this moment, I opened my eyes to the night sky we were ascending into…nvgand there was the fullest of full, lighting the darkest of night.

 The lurch in my stomach from take off was nothing compared to the leap my heart experienced when I saw that beautiful moon. Knowing God created that beauty in the night, lighting my life in those fearful moments, was my sign. God was there, He is always there. Even on a cold dark December night. I only needed to look up.

I usually end my post with saying goodbye to something. Today, I don’t want to say goodbye, only Hello. Hello to God today and everyday. Hello to all the riches only He can give. Riches of a life blessed by saying Hello God and finding Him in the light of the moon on one scary night.

 A diet full of butter is thought to be of rich flavor , but a diet of saying Hello to God will provide more riches than one can imagine.

So, in every moment of life I choose to practice a new habit and say:

Hello God…Hello Butter

Living Thanksgiving

November 23, 2011

 
 

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time for reflecting on being grateful. Every year I list all I am thankful for praising God for His blessings in my life. Its a long list and a heartfelt prayer of thanksgiving.

I wonder…Is it enough? Is it enough to just say thank you and praise God? On the rainy days life is sure to bring, will  just saying the words of gratitude, be enough to find the sun despite  the falling rain?

This Thanksgiving I will continue with my list of blessings and praise God for all the gifts in my life. However, I will not be satisfied by this act alone. I am working on keeping the attitude of gratitude alive in my heart everyday.

I have hard days when the rain wins and the sun disappears.

I am convinced if my heart is full of grace, not by mere words, but attitude and actions of gratitude I will not only find sun in the midst of rainy days, I will feel Grace from the Son. Then His love will be enough.

Ann Voskamp is an author I had the pleasure of hearing speak last summer. She writes: ” Because Thanksgiving is more than a holiday-its the way to wake up to really,fully living” This idea to live fully and give thanks for all things is what I want to be planted deep into my heart. 
holy experience 
Living Thanksgiving in every moment.

I am celebrating His Grace this Thanksgiving by action and attitude so then I can say, goodbye to hard rainy days &…Hello Butter

Read more about Claire’s current health @ http://http://www.carepages.com/carepages/babyclairespage/updates

Awareness & God

November 1, 2011

November is Epilepsy Awareness month. I am spreading awareness by sharing some very amazing news.
We were at Pittsburgh Children’s a couple of weeks ago for a 24 hour EEG. Today, I spoke with our neurologist’s nurse. She told me that Claire’s EEG was looking normal! When compared to all of Claire’s previous EEG’s this one was the best.
Does this mean Claire is cured of Epilepsy? No. She still has Epilepsy. This just means that during the 24 hours on the monitor, she had no seizure activity. Her brainwaves still show she can have seizures. She just isn’t having as many(a few small ones now and then) and had none during the testing.
So,  this is great news and a huge improvement from previous testing which showed lots of seizure activity. She truly is 100% better and is functioning at such a better quality of life. Her smile says it all!

I am giving all the credit to an amazing God who keeps working miracles in the life of this special child. I know for certain we were directed to the right plan for her by His hand. We chose the ketogenic diet, but not before praying and listening to what God placed in our hearts. I have always made decisions for Claire in this way. I know its right when I feel a peace about the decision. And let me tell you my heart is at peace. Not only do I feel at peace, I am also joyful in the love I feel God shower down upon us!
Always trust, never stop praying and find a peace only our loving Father can give! Miracles happen!
So, I am confident today to be able to say….
Goodbye seizures…Hello Butter!

Our life is truly surrounded by butter these days. But having this diet change in my life makes me think of butter differently. I think of my life being made richer by the changes a high fat diet has brought. I look at a stick of butter and can’t help but think, ” I am rich” and I begin to count the ways I am rich.

One of the ways I am made rich is by being richly blessed by the abundance of love in this life. Knowing it is a stepping stone to eternity, the love found here and now is but a small foretaste of what our awesome Creator allows us to experience before we can all be called into His kingdom to love in ways beyond our mind can fathom.
God has blessed me beyond abundance with love that surrounds my heart and grows my soul.
Family love is one that makes my heart strong, but another love is just as great is that of a friend. While I have many to speak of today, I am talking of a southern beauty that walks and talks a love beyond what the eyes see straight to a heart that feels. She walks the Proverbs 31 woman’s life.

Wendy & Claire love

Wendy is love, Wendy helps my soul grow by just being in her presence and the strength of her heart pulls at mine. She is made strong by faith that she grows with living as a daughter of the Almighty King. The result of her faith is His love that shines as  she walks through this life.

my eyes are so puffy tired, they look closed

I am honored God introduced this amazing friend into my life. We were reminded this weekend at the She Speaks conference of seeing life’s gifts, thank you Ann Voskamp for the gift of your mesmerizing voice and beautiful heart.

http://onethousandgifts.com/

On my One Thousand Gifts list…my sweet friend,sister in Christ,Wendy Pope

Quietly He Rocks

June 18, 2011

The quiet strength of his soul whispering as he stood

sentinel at her bedside. Her life as fragile as his faith

strong. The moments unknown he never faltered, faithful

father surrendering his heart to a will not his own.

God’s plan. Softly he stood by her with a heart of hope,

gently touching souls. His faith strong made a fragile life

begin to bloom. Days passed as their hearts melted together in love.

She being nourished by more than medicine could give.

Peaceful joy becoming tangible as his quiet strength continued

to whisper her well. Three weeks of uncertainty until a

father holding his daughter came home. A quiet strength

whispering  her soul strong, the most solid foundation

his love could build… a husband who truly rocks.

                                                           

© 2011 hellobutter

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