March 15, 2012
I remember a tiny hand so chubby with dimples where knuckles should be. How I loved rubbing my hand over those dimples, holding so softly, fingers laced gentle into mine. Holding onto memories of chubby, days of baby and mothering love abound. Traveling toward a new adventure of letting go.
A firstborn child is a mother’s first love. Like the rising of a beautiful sun in the early morning hours, touching all the dark places of night. Filling the world full of brightness in places that have been asleep. A mother’s love is touched by the first born light. A love that awakened so many sleeping places of my young heart. And now that baby, child, man is leaving for his own adventure. He will touch new places of the world, leaving his light where it may have once been dark. And as much as I want to be selfish and grab hold tight of that once chubby dimple hand, I have to let go and let God.
He will be called a Guardian. The Guardian Ethos reads with words of protect, defend, save and shield. Semper Paratus~Always Ready.
I can only let this child’s fingers slip from mine, if I know God is, was and always will be steadfast in the holding, embracing of his once chubby, dimple filled hand. The tears will well and the heart will sting, but I will let go and let God. Let go and let God guide Him in the adventure of life in the Coast Guard. How he has been made ready for this. My oldest has always been a big brother, full of protecting and responsibility. God has made him for this guardian life.
I will soon say the hardest goodbye a mother’s heart will bear. Goodbye to dimpled hands and shining firstborn light. My heart aching but steadfast with faith. I may not say good bye, my heart can’t take it. Instead I will say…Hello God~always ready Guardian of our lives, embrace his dimpled hand along with my heart. Help me be always ready to let go and let God.
Always Ready saying Hello God…Hello Butter